And it Starts

I wrote this on Friday and was gungho..then I got cold feet. I am just gonna go ahead and post it. I need to push myself along. Anybody got a caddle prod!?



So today as I was vacuuming it dawned on me. I've spent sooooo long waiting for this perfect moment to come along to complete certain tasks. I've sat on these dreams, desires, just wishing I would get organized. At some point I will develop a logical, systematic flow for every single piece of paper that comes through my front door whether it be mail, bills, school papers, flyers, coupons, etc. Hoping that sometime I will have a great system for chores and such for the kids. Someday I will start more of a routine where I teach the kids about different things and we'll do crafts and projects. In the midst of it all I have lost myself, and the desire to pay attention to what I eat and what I do or don't do. I look around my house and there are piles of papers, lost and forgotten projects. There is mounds of disorder. "To Do Later" stacks. Stashes of sort'n'file. What I see around me feels like a reflection of what's going on inside of me. So many things I will just take care of tomorrow. Oh..there it is..the worst word in my vocabulary - TOMORROW!! Goes right along with maybe, someday, sometime, when this happens-then I will do that, when that happens-then I will do this, if, etc. All of these words seem to keep me trapped in this vicious cycle of complete unproductivity. Am I lazy? Am I the worst procrastinator you'll ever meet?? Maybe, or maybe I just am lost in this whirlwind I've allowed and created for myself. Oh sure, go ahead and convince yourself that you can't relate!! I realize some people already are happy with themselves and/or their home. Maybe you were born that way, well lucky you Mary Poppins! I would be happy to hear of any advice or tips you may have on the matter!! Cause obviously you are doing something right!!



I look around at this mess and I see symptoms of a problem that must be inside of me. Where else could it possibly come from? Why do allow this? Why do I procrastinate? Delay, reschedule, plan but never execute, etc? Why do I not change my horrible eating habits? Why do I not exercise? I've healed up from the spill I took nearly 2 yrs ago, so what's my excuse NOW? At this point I'm not 100% sure. But instead of waiting, instead of not doing what I need to do because I'm waiting for something else to happen or change first, I'm just gonna push through. I am going to alter the direction of this ship one little shift at a time. And maybe along the way I will discover or uncover the issues that lie beneath that I've allowed to self sabotage my life for way too long. And maybe, just maybe when the perfect time comes I'll actually be ready!!


I had a little epiphany, I have caught myself saying, "I am going to" or "when such and such happens - then I will blah blah blah". And the thought that followed those was, "Jesus always said "I am"!" hmmm...maybe there is a lesson that's applicable to us! Maybe I need to start saying, "I AM in the process of getting more organized, losing weight, tackling those abandoned projects"!! And instead of waiting for this 'perfect time' to come along when I can begin accomplishing, completing, and finding success, I will choose NOW!! Now is when I will change. NOW is when I will begin this process.


So here it is folks, I am going to change my world!! I know this isn't an overnight event! There is a lot to do, but one day at a time I am going to push through. One day at a time I will eat away at this elephant! And maybe you can relate...or maybe I should say you know someone who can relate!! Cause isn't that how we think?! I am inviting you, (or someone you know!!) to go through this process with me, because maybe there are things in your life that you wish for, or that you wish could change. Things you hoped you could accomplish, but you've been waiting for the perfect moment to arrive. STOP WAITING!! The perfect time is when you decide to begin!!



So here are my goals.



1 - I will watch what I eat more carefully. Plan meals by the week, so that I can plan healthy meals and not fall back on boxed or drive through.



2 - I will find a way to do exercise of some kind.



3 - I will do daily tasks to maintain my house.



4 - I will also do extra daily tasks to work through all the boxes and piles, etc. Whether I am tossing, sorting and filing, donating, etc.



5 - I will do my best to schedule myself and hold myself accountable.



I believe, since it took me at least a decade to get to this point, it will take about 1 year to get out. I believe that is realistic. I hope that in 1 year from now I will be physically fit, mentally sound, emotionally stable and so organized it would make Martha Stewart gag!!



So here we go!!